Hey Friends!
Guess what day it is??
ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!
I have completed another revolution around our gigantic beautiful sun. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that. Because two years ago, I wasn’t sure how many more birthdays I would have. I have come a long way in my journey with depression and mental health. This is probably the longest streak I have had in terms of feeling like I am actually alive. There were rough days, but those rough days were due to challenges of life. I faced them, I got through them. I am here. I am alive. And I am now 34.
I can’t even begin to fully process my own age right now. Like, I can barely say the words and numbers with my mouth. I go to say “34” and “25” just comes out. But alas, I am a long way from that beautiful age. No, I’m not 25, or anywhere in my 20’s anymore. I am in my early 30s. Know what I have learned this last year? That I am truly on my own timeline. It’s been almost exactly a year ago that life (for most of us here in NJ) just completely changed. Time didn’t stop, but it certainly felt like it. Fresh into 33, and my life just halted. And while that was incredibly hard at first, I am so thankful that it did. For so many years I had been feeling so far behind practically all my peers. And yet while I felt like I was constantly running at 120 mph I was literally going nowhere. Mentally and emotionally (and physically a lot of days) I was maxed out – with nothing to ever show for it. Being forced to slow down and stay home gave me the opportunity to catch my breath and refocus. Now, a year later I feel refreshed and ready to go. I have a new appreciation for time. I have new goals.
I want to point out that today, March 4 2021, marks a full year that I have been vegan. It’s my Veganersary! I had been vegetarian for 13 years when I finally made the jump to a vegan diet last year. I had intended to get a tattoo to mark the occasion today. But life still being how it is – with me still out of work due to covid, I didn’t want to spend any unnecessary money. Instead, I am making a new pledge. And my pledge this year is to be an intentional vegan. What do I mean by that? I mean there were a number of times this past year where I ate something that I wasn’t 100% sure was vegan. I would read the label(s) and there might be an ingredient or two that were most likely vegan, but not guaranteed. There was also an instance last summer where I ordered the wrong pesto sauce and had about a bowl of pasta that actually had parmesan cheese in it. I only caught it because when I checked the calorie count in the sauce it was way too high for a vegan pesto. I immediately threw out rest of the sauce and I was quite upset with myself. But I just kept on going on my vegan journey and didn’t let it discourage me. There will always be slip ups, especially the first year. The important thing is to keep going. I was vegan during my mistakes, and I am still a vegan now. However, starting today – everything is intentional. I will no longer eat anything that has even the slightest chance of coming from an animal. This won’t be too hard since I am very good about buying products that I know are 100% vegan. Just now I’ll be obsessive about it hehe.
Also starting today, I am going on a month long oil free cleanse/detox/diet. I’m not really sure what to call it, but I am cutting out all oil/products with oil for the next month. I know it will be a huge shock to my system. Based on the results from my blood work back in October, a shock is exactly what my system needs. I even ate all my favorite foods today to “celebrate” my birthday. I figure the best gift I can give myself tomorrow is truly a fresh start with how I eat and fuel my body. I am definitely going to be posting updates about my journey with oil free eating, so look out for that!
My other gift to myself, and this is huge – I’m telling myself to be selfish. And that is not easy. But I am fully pushing myself to only think about what I need, what I want – and giving myself permission to achieve it all. This is actually a separate topic that I will blog about soon. But just know, that right now I am only worried and focused on me. I feel really strange and borderline horrible saying that out loud. But this is how it has to be, and it is the gift I need most right now. And for that, I am grateful to myself.
Than you for taking the time to read my birthday post. As you know, I always appreciate it. Please, like/comment/subscribe to my blog – and follow me on social media. On Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, its all @oaknmetal. Please follow me, talk to me. Let that be your birthday gift to me!
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Until next time beautiful people!
Nat
oaknmetal.com 